With the scent of roses and taste of fine chocolates tempting our senses as Valentine’s Day approaches us this week, I thought we could have a little chat about self love; because whether you find yourself thriving, plateauing or struggling in a relationship, flirtationship or solo-ship, when it comes to romance, the offer of self love is always on the table.

Having spent many-a-Valentine’s Day flying solo, I’ve had my ups and downs over the years with this day that, putting commercialism aside, is supposed to be about celebrating romantic love and partnership.

The thing is, I love - Love!  A romantic at heart, any chance to celebrate love, and life for that matter, I get super excited about.

There’s been times I’ve been depressed to not have a partner to celebrate with because I felt like I was missing out on something, other times I’ve pretended I didn’t care and let the day go by, ignoring the emotions that really did want to come up to be seen because I didn’t want to feel the pain of what I thought it meant to be alone, and more lighthearted years where I’ve celebrated the spirit of love with other independent girlfriends.

Through the many emotions this day has seen over the years, what I can say is that the path to self love isn’t necessarily an easy one.  Often we aren’t even aware of how critical we are of ourselves until we start to take the journey inward to heal.

When you set the intention to start shining the light of love on yourself, in the same way you would shine that same light onto others in your life, we start to become aware of how separated we’ve been from the love that already exists within us.

Everything that is what I like to call “not-love” comes up to be seen.

Most people in the spiritual world say that the opposite of love is fear.  However, I believe the opposite of love is “not-love”, in other words, the withholding of love.

Fear is actually the symptom that arises as we take on the belief that some part of us in unloveable.  A belief that becomes imprinted onto us when we have an experience where love is withheld.  When we feel rejected, unheard, unseen, or when our boundaries for physical, emotional or intellectual safety are violated.

The more experiences of “not love” we are on the receiving end of, particularly in our developmental years, the more convinced we become of our lack of worth and the more we fear to show our true selves to the world.

These experiences lead us down the path of developing many different coping patterns to help us deal with the pain.

It’s all very innocent and this is something we ALL experience.  So please know, you are not alone and you haven’t done anything wrong.  We don’t mean to fall into these patterns.  It’s often not even in our awareness that we are caught in them because it is just a normal part of our journey of being human.

It is these experiences of “not-love” that cause us to forget who we truly are.  It doesn’t take long to learn how to hide both the best and worst parts of ourselves from others in order to gain acceptance.

The good news is, as we cycle through the seasons of our life and start paying attention to what life is trying to teach us, we start to see the areas within ourselves that are needing a little extra snuggle.  You can start to show yourself what it means for all of you, yes, ALL of you, to be lifted up by love.

WE ONLY HEAL IN THE PRESENCE OF LOVE.

Love holds space for both our positive characteristics and our quirks, our enjoyable emotions and our difficult emotions, our clarity and our confusion, our strengths and our weaknesses, our successes and our failures our rights and our wrong-doings.

Love holds space for it all.

When we lean into self love, there is a peace that happens.  It can be difficult at first to turn towards the parts of ourselves that we have been taught to withhold love from, but it does get easier with time, I promise.

It’s the most rewarding journey of self discovery that you can go on.

The beautiful thing is, once you start to shine the light of love into all of the nooks and crannies within yourself that have been starving for love for so long, your Soul starts to shine a bit brighter.

This is the thing about the spiritually human journey we are on together, we are all desperately trying to remember the presence of love that already exists within us.

We’ve each been given our own unique path of breadcrumbs to follow and lessons to learn to get back to this simple truth.  That you are Love.

Not all that long ago, I asked myself - “What does self worth feel like?”

The first answer I received was - “Appreciation”.  The second answer was - “Acceptance”.

As you explore what self love means to you this Valentine’s Day, try asking yourself:

What is it that you could really appreciate about yourself?  What parts of you are easy to love?

Then, if you are feeling safe enough within yourself to step a little further down this path, start to look for the parts of you that were once on the receiving end of “not love”.  How are they doing?  What do they need from you?  What would it be like to shine the light of love on these parts of you and finally give them the love they have always deserved?

The first step on any journey of self discovery and inner healing is to create enough safety within yourself to go exploring.  We create this safety by cultivating a presence of self love and self acceptance to accompany us along the way.

As you learn to appreciate and accept all of what makes you, YOU, start to get curious about this . . .

What kind of woman are you blossoming into?

With Love,
Kristen
XO

Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.

​May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health & harmony.

If you want to learn how to connect with your inner wisdom to guide you on your journey of self discovery and inner healing, so you can shine the unique spark of light you came here to shine in this world with more confidence, compassion and ease, start by joining the Soul Inspired Community Membership.  It's free!  Click here to join the journey.

In case you needed to here it today, you are doing so much better than what you think!

I love to pull tarot and oracle cards for myself, and it’s funny when spirit has a message to get across to you, how the same card will keep popping up.

Lately it’s been the 4 of wands, a card of celebration. This comes following the many coaching sessions I’ve had with one of my business coaches who would say to me when I was getting down on myself - “have you been celebrating all of the steps you’ve been taking to get where you are right now?”

“No, not really,” was usually my reply. It really just hadn’t occurred to me to!

It’s sometimes difficult to celebrate when you don’t feel like you’ve reached the final destination yet.
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But I could see her point, Taking time to celebrate the little steps along the way is like adding fuel to your engine. It helps to keep you going when things feel hard. And there really is so much worth celebrating!

It’s not only through career that milestones can be celebrated. If you are reading these Soul Notes, I know you’ve been paying attention to your life, going inward, reflecting and allowing yourself space to grow through life’s challenges.

When any big change comes in life, whether it is a goal you set out to achieve, deciding to finally retire or change jobs, leaving a relationship or starting a new one, children leaving home for the first time, overcoming an illness or grieving the loss of a loved one, there is always going to be an enormous amount of personal growth that happens for you.

These things will change you.

Whether you intentionally set out to achieve a goal and are taking steps to get there OR you are making the effort to put your shattered self back together because “life happened”, let’s celebrate that today!

Know also, that sometimes the “not doing” is worth celebrating too.

Sometimes we need to allow ourselves the opportunity to roll over, pull the covers over our heads, and say - “no, sorry, not today. I just need to be with my feelings.”

I believe we are going through something right now. Particularly if you are a sensitive soul, you may be feeling more than you ever have before. What I seem to be witnessing, in myself and also with others I’ve chatted with, is an awakening of the emotional body.

I think we’ve reached a point in our consciousness where many of us are starting to recognize the importance of emotional expression. A common phrase I hear is that “you need to feel it to heal it”.

So if you notice yourself having feelings bubble up to the surface that you’ve never felt before, know that this is worth celebrating too!

I truly believe we need to feel the pain of the world if we wish to create greater experiences of love, health and harmony.

Not to the point that you get lost in the pain of others suffering, but for us to feel and acknowledge our own suffering.

No matter how insignificant or small you may judge that suffering to be, anything that disturbs your peace of mind is worth brining up to the surface so that it can be healed and cleared.

Every time your feelings offer you an aha moment, that is worth celebrating!

If you are feeling the feels right now, be easy on yourself. As we start to allow ourselves to feel everything that we’ve had neatly tucked away in the depths of our psyche for years, decades or even lifetimes, it can be a lot to process.

I will offer one more thing here that one of my teachers taught me. It’s that our emotions, while they can feel very scary, often because we have memories of being reprimanded for them, the truth is, they are simply information.

The good feelings, the ones that expand you, tell you what your Soul wants more of in life. The more difficult feelings, the ones that constrict you, tell you where your Soul is wanting to grow.

That’s what this whole human experience is all about. An opportunity for the Soul to learn and grow while also enjoying the beauty of this planet we get to live on.

So this week, as the end of the month draws near and before you jump into the holiday season, take a moment and celebrate where you are growing in life. Look back at the month that has passed and ask yourself . . .

How are your feelings helping you grow?

With Love,
Kristen
XO

Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.

May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health & harmony.

And if you need a little extra support:

Visit www.soulinspired.ca to get your free copy of the Find Your Spark Guidebook to connect you with your inner wisdom so you can light your own path forward through life’s challenging times.

It takes courage to be in pain.

When we come to this Earth, we are aware that there will be suffering.  And somehow, we still decide to come anyways.

It takes courage to be here.  Living.  Breathing.  Being.  Hurting.

With all of the suffering, all of the pain and all of the heartache, I am always amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit.

To keep showing up, day after day after day, even when things are unbearably hard.

It takes even more courage to heal.

To make the brave decision to look inward and shine the light on the true source of your pain is quite terrifying for the nervous system.

Don’t take it personally.  That is just how it has been designed!

Your body has an inherent wisdom that will keep you safe at all costs, even if that means keeping you stuck for much longer than you may like to be!

The thing is, most of the time, the best thing to do is allow yourself to fully feel it.


Today I’d like to remind you that it is ok to be stuck in your pain.  To feel it.  To be in it.  To learn from it.  To find the wisdom in it.

To stay with it until it naturally starts to lose its grip on you.

Healing isn’t something we can force upon ourselves.

Our body, our psyche and our spirit have an innate wisdom that knows how to reveal to us exactly what we need to know at the exact right moment.

The best thing we can do in the meantime is cultivate a deeper sense of compassion for ourselves as we let our innate wisdom work its magic.

So if you’re going through something right now, if there is something you are feeling, allow yourself to feel it as much as you can.

The human experience isn’t just about feeling joy, happiness and peace, it’s ok to be scared, to feel angry, to feel your grief.

It is through these difficult emotions that we get to know what compassion is.

As you step onto your healing journey, remind yourself, there is no rush.

It’s OK to take your time.

With Love,
Kristen
XO

This is a big question!  I know.  It’s a good one though, right?

How often do you stop to really think about what the quality of your Soul actually feels like?

In a world where we are distracted by never ending to do lists, places to go, people to see, bills to pay and goals to achieve, it can be easy for the Soul to become a wall flower at this party we call life.


I do believe this world would be a better place if we were all in closer connection to our Souls. Not only would that bring greater peace of mind for ourselves, we would also open up our hearts to celebrate the unique Soul qualities of everyone around us as well.


Every Soul brings its own uniqueness to this world; and the most interesting thing I learned when I studied astrology was that often these qualities can act as opposites to one another, or even clash outright with each other as well!


Despite this tension that occurs, they are still the qualities of the Soul. It turns out, the Soul actually needs tension in order to grow and I love how clearly astrology teaches us the purpose behind our differences.


The thing is, if we are not aware of this, we often make the assumption that if another Soul is shining bright in opposition to us, that there is something bad about that.


I won’t go too deep into astrology here, because that’s not really the point, so I’ll keep it simple with this example.


On one side of the zodiac we have the sign of Aries, an energy that expresses itself as highly self focused, and on the other end of the zodiac, we have the sign of Libra, an energy that is highly other focused.


If we see each sign through the lens of judgement, we would say that one side can express qualities of selfishness and the other side is prone to qualities of codependency.


The question to ask is this:

Is there another way we can interpret these qualities so that we have a deeper understanding of their purpose and the gifts that are meant to arise from them?


When we shine the light of love and understanding on each side, we see that the highly self focused energy of Aries is a Soul that came into this lifetime to REALLY get to know themselves this time around.


Most likely they’ve spent lifetimes of selfless service, giving up their own identity in order to survive or fit in. This lifetime the Soul is here for a different experience. Aries is here to know themselves deeply as they lead the charge and light a fire for the rest of us with their enthusiasm while they inspire others to follow their way of doing things.


And if we chose to shine the light of love and understanding on the quality of codependency, we can see that this energy of Libra is someone who has probably spent many lifetimes focused on getting to know themselves well and the Soul chose this lifetime to really get to know how others operate. This allows them the ability to be highly sensitive to the needs of others. They are the peace keepers of the zodiac and are great at helping people see different points of view. What a gift!


This is only one example from the zodiac, there are 5 more pairs of opposites, and you don’t have to have a sun sign of Aries or Libra to understand these energies. We all carry all of the energies of the zodiac within us in one way or another.


The reason I share this example today is that, chances are, the thing that you feel most judged, criticized or ashamed of is most likely your Soul’s greatest gift!


Stop and breathe that in for a second.


It all comes down to perspective.


We were all given different qualities to express and shine in the world.


None are better or worse than others.


I like to think that we are all pieces that fit into the big puzzle of life.


Have you ever done a puzzle only to get to the end and realize a piece is missing?


It doesn’t matter if that piece was a deep solid blue piece meant to complete the sky or one of those intricate pieces that somehow manages to be the stem, petal and the golden centre of the bloom of a flower all at the same time…


When a piece is missing, you notice it!


Not only do you notice it, it feels deeply unnerving that that piece isn’t there.


That is how important your spark is in this world!
Your unique light completes the puzzle of life.


It can be difficult to trust that being ourselves in this world will be met by love from others. The truth is, it may not be.


The tension that is created when you live from a place of deep and soulful authenticity is what helps the rest of us grow.


It is also what inspires the rest of us to step into our uniqueness as well!


It takes courage and strength and support from those who do resonate with you to live life from this place.


And when you do start to align yourself with the light of your own Soul, those who do understand you and resonate with you will naturally be drawn to you, because they can see you now.


This week you have permission to take all of the parts of yourself that are hiding under the couch or at the back of the closet (who knows where those puzzle pieces go???) and start to recognize them as your greatest gifts.


The thing is, when we step onto the path of loving all of ourselves, for better and for “worse” (it’s all for the better by the way), this is what starts to light up our world.


Knowing that there are only right answers, take three big breaths, ask your mind to suspend any judgements for a few moments and ask yourself this. . .


What are my Soul’s greatest gifts?

With Love,
Kristen XO

Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.

May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health & harmony.

And if you need a little extra support:

Visit www.soulinspired.ca to get your free copy of the Find Your Spark Guidebook.  This beautiful 39 page guidebook will connect you with your inner wisdom so you can light your own path forward through life’s challenging times.

​This little nugget of wisdom came by my desk today and I thought it would be great to share with you.

Accept it as if you had chosen it.

Work with it, not against it.

Brilliant.  And yet so hard, right?!

I think the path to acceptance is one of the hardest paths to navigate on this journey of life.

In order to accept something that is happening outside of us, or even something that is happening within us, we have to relinquish the desire to control it.

And it’s so hard to release that desire for control!

To say “just let it go” or “just surrender” without honouring why the desire for control exists to begin with, only leaves us feeling vulnerable, which is exactly what the desire for control is trying to protect us from.

So the mind says “just let it go” and the body says “but I don’t feel safe” as your heart rate increases and your palms sweat every time you find yourself back in whatever the situation is that is asking for acceptance.

And when the mind and body aren’t on the same page, things just don’t feel right.

If you find yourself in a position where it is difficult to accept any circumstance in your life for what it is, know you have permission to take your time to explore what is really going within yourself before coming to a place of acceptance.

You get to let acceptance happen on your own time.

There is no need to force a path of acceptance.  When we try to force anything in life, our resistance to it grows stronger; keeping us stuck in a repeating pattern that never resolves itself.

The thing to know is this - something deep down inside of you learned at some point in your life, that if you could just control yourself, or if you could just control others, then you would be safe.

So instead of asking yourself to “let go” or “surrender” that which has kept you safe up until this point in your life, because most likely whatever it is you’re honestly not ready to let go of it yet (otherwise you would have), try asking yourself this . . .

What is asking for healing?

Once you heal the core wound that is driving your desire for control, there is nothing left to let go of.  You will have created a felt sense of safety within yourself which naturally lends to a place where the desire for control just doesn’t exist anymore.

And when you feel safe, acceptance will flow naturally through you.

You will no longer suffer from feelings of guilt or shame because you “just can’t let go”.

Every time we heal a part of ourselves, we grow into more of our true nature, which only knows how to shine love, and therefore acceptance, into the world.

The path to acceptance may just be one of the most important legs on our journey of self discovery and healing.

I believe it is the gateway to receiving both grace and personal freedom in our lives.

A state where we can start to see that everything that happens in life is happening for us, in an effort to inspire our growth, rather than to us.

In this state of mind, we can take ourselves a little less seriously as life becomes an adventure of lessons learned; where you get to grow into more and more of yourself over and over again, and at the end of your life, you’ll be able to look back and see just how far you’ve come.

When a request for acceptance comes knocking at your door this week, instead of telling yourself to “just let it go”, ask yourself . . .

How am I being asked to grow?

With Love,
Kristen
XO

This quote came to mind as I was coming up with a theme for this week’s Soul Note. I was inspired to find out the origin of the quote so I could properly honour the context in where it came from.
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As I read and listened to the lyrics of Leonard Cohen’s song, Anthem, I became self conscious to take on the profound depth of thought and contemplation of this life that he so powerfully taps into.
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If you are curious to dive deeper into some bigger picture wisdom of this life we are living, look up the full lyrics to the song. I am not going to go where he takes you in Anthem today, but I do think the spirit of this lyric has significance as we contemplate our own personal journeys as well.
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As always, these words show up in my life in perfect synchronicity. I’d like to share a more personal anecdote this week. In hopes that it may inspire something in you as well.
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Things have been hard! This past year, I have been gaining increasing clarity on my purpose in this world as the vision for what I am creating in my life comes into focus.
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However, with that, it feels like I keep getting hit with one internal road block after another as I attempt to birth my dreams into reality. It has truly been the slowest process I have ever experienced. To the point where I’ve often asked myself - what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to get where I know I am fully capable of going?
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It’s been frustrating because as I hold this vision, it just feels like the energy isn’t there to support it.
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Have you ever felt this way? Like you hear the whispers of change calling to you but you feel stuck in the same place, day after day, month after month, maybe even year after year?
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In a world that appears to favour constant movement (and fast movement at that), it is easy for us to think we are broken when the changes we want to make appear out of reach.
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Here is the thing, change can be hard!
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There is so much more at play, affecting our day to day actions than what we were ever taught to be conscious of.
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Physically, the body is programmed physiologically to keep us safe. When a perceived threat to the status quo arises (ie. change), we can be programmed to either fight, freeze or flee the situation. If you have a tendency towards stuckness, your body may be wired to freeze in the face of fear. And change can be scary right?
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Emotionally, without knowing it, we may try to protect ourselves from the big feelings that come with change such as grief of leaving behind the old or worry that as you explore new territory, it may not be as good as you thought it would be.
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On top of that, from a spiritual perspective, we are always being affected by the energies around us. Our physical, mental and emotional bodies are reacting to the impact of the spiritual energy at play in this reality we live in.
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I decided to have a peek at my astrology chart this morning. Funny thing is, I had read this several months ago and didn’t think too much of it. Turns out, the energies of the stars have had me in a holding pattern for awhile now. There is relief that comes in the ability to look back with a fresh perspective, one that I had to live out before realizing it was true!
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Whatever it is that is impacting us, it is all happening for a reason.
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The lessons I am learning through these times of stagnation are that of pure faith. Faith that the possibility of dreams realized still exists, faith that the determination and resilience I am building through this time are going to serve me well in the future, and faith that this cycle of life that I am in right now is just that, a cycle, that had a natural beginning and will have a natural ending as well.
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There are times in life where we are meant to be charging ahead into new territory. And there are times when we are meant to slow down, go inward, reflect and learn from the wisdom that is hidden in the stuckness.
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Sometimes the best thing to do when you are stuck is to allow yourself to be in it. To love yourself through it. And have faith that the wisdom of this time will reveal itself to you when you are ready for it.
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It is in these times where we feel broken that the cracks are there to let in the light of the gifts we have been given.
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So this week, you have permission to grant yourself the gift of faith as you ask yourself this . . .
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What if I’m not doing anything wrong?​​

Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.​

May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health & harmony.​
​
With Love,
Kristen
XO

Last post we chatted about what you need to feel safe as you adventure down the path of saying “yes” to your Soul’s callings (in case you missed it, you can read that Soul Note here).​

This week I’d like to talk about the times when you need to say “no” on the journey to finding your spark again.​

It’s hard though, right? For so many reasons, we may have learned it’s the more appropriate response to smile politely and just say yes to whatever life throws down on our path because it’s simply impolite to say no.​

This can also come from a mis-placed sense of responsibility to be everything to everyone. If you are a healer and you feel the pain of the world deeply in your bones, you most likely want to help out anywhere you can to ease the suffering of others, even when it comes at the expense of your own well being.​

It may have also been unsafe to say no. You may have ended up on the receiving end of some unkind words if you’ve ever tried to say - “sorry, no I can’t help you/be there for you/do what you’re asking me to do/be what you want me to be for you. I need to take care of myself today.”​

If your body responded by getting all twisted up at even the thought of this, it’s ok. Take a breath. You’re not alone. I invite you to keep reading!​

This can create so much fear in our bodies that we find ourselves doing all of the things, jumping through all of the hoops and enduring as much discomfort as we can to simply avoid having those around us be upset with us.​

It’s gets exhausting, doesn’t it?​

I’d like to share some words of wisdom one of my teachers shared with me:​

“You should never have to make yourself sick in order for someone else to be healthy”.
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This piece of wisdom has stuck to me like glue. I honestly had never considered that before. To be truthful, until I was later into my thirties, I didn’t even know I had needs of my own, never mind knowing how to identify what they were.
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I was just reacting and adjusting to the world around me in an effort to maintain what I know now was a false sense of peace and harmony.
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I didn’t have the language to let people know how I was really feeling and I certainly didn’t have the courage to speak up about it either.
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This was one of the lessons my Soul came here to learn. Hello, my name is Kristen and I am a recovering people pleaser! My sensitive Soul just hates it when people are mad at me. It’s something I took very personally and felt deep down in my heart for a long time. I thought that if someone was upset with something I thought, felt or said it meant I was a bad person. It took a lot of self love to turn this around.
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This journey of self discovery has taught me that we are all responsible for getting to know ourselves, what our needs are and to communicate with others what our needs and boundaries are as well.
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Easier said that done! It’s been years of exploration and experimentation. Of getting it right at times and wrong at others. It is an ongoing journey that has led me to feel a little more empowered with every challenge that comes my way.
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Being in the practice of checking in with myself and saying no when it’s right for me, as well as shifting my perspective to know that we are all ultimately responsible for ourselves, has allowed me to create the space to actually feel my own energy, to move with the callings of my own Soul and to feel safer in my body even when faced with the influence of other’s expectations, judgements and criticisms.
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My wish is for you to have this experience as well.
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It’s scary though. If it doesn’t feel safe to speak up for yourself, chances are your body has been on the receiving end of some intense energy at times where you tried to speak your truth.
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If I can offer some guidance, it would be to do your inner work first. A tell tale sign you are saying yes when your Soul wants you to say no is a feeling of restriction, nervousness or shut down in the body. It can also feel like you need to perform in order to receive love or validation. For others it can be a build up of resentment and anger that is either really obvious or hiding underneath the surface.
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Awareness is always the first step to healing. Start to become aware of this pattern within yourself first.
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It’s ok to keep saying yes until you reach a place of inner strength, safety and courage to start saying no.
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When we are in healthy relationship with one another, there is support and encouragement on both sides to help each other be the healthiest and most authentic versions of ourselves.
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The trouble we run into is that there are a lot of unhealthy relationship dynamics we’ve learned to buy into, to the point we don’t even realize they are unhealthy. It’s just normal. Because that has been what was modelled to us and that is what we learned we needed to do in order to be loved and validated.
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Have patience and remember everyone is doing the best they can considering where they are on their own journey of self discovery. This includes you too!
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If you find yourself in an abusive or toxic relationship, I encourage you to do some research to know the resources available to you in your area and reach out for support. There is a lot of support out there in the form of books, programs and professional counselling to help you learn how to better identify what your needs are and how to navigate your relationships in a way that is supportive to your own health. 
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You’re allowed to feel safe in this world. And when you are running yourself ragged to make sure everyone else is taken care of (or to make sure no one ever gets mad at you), you’ll start to notice a lot of anxiety building up in your nervous system. And if you feel like you’ve lost your spark, this may be one of the primary reasons your energy is feeling drained right now.
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Knowing what you need to say "no" to may be one of the most important steps you take to empower yourself to find your spark again.
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This week, start to pay attention to how your body communicates your Soul’s “no” to you. Then, when you have time to yourself, reflect back on the situation, take three breaths and ask yourself this . . .
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What do you need to feel safe?
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Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.
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May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health and harmony.
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With Love,
Kristen
XO

I created the Find Your Spark Journey to provide you with all of the guidance & practices you need to support your path of self discovery. It's all about connecting to your inner wisdom to clear out the clutter that doesn’t feel like you anymore, so you can know yourself better than ever before. And if you can love all that you are at the same time, that's even better!
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If you would like to navigate this life with greater confidence and ease while being connected to your most authentic self, you are welcome to come and join the journey. I'd love to have you there.  Learn more

​Sometimes all we need to get unstuck is the permission to say yes to what we already know deep within us to be true.

However, so often when the Soul calls us forward to expand into something new and unfamiliar, the mind recognizes that as her cue to get to work and present you with all of the very compelling reasons for why it would be a better idea to just skip it and be ok with what you already have.

Because what’s so bad about that anyways?

And the mind is very compelling, isn’t she!  We can stay stuck in unfulfilling situations for years and even decades, all because she is so masterful at convincing us that saying no to that inner nudge for change is in our best interest.

Isn’t it funny how we were born with this little chatterbox in our heads, but were never really taught what her purpose is or what she’s actually up to?

It’s when we start to see the beauty in what is happening here that the light of awareness can shine on what it is we need to feel safe in order to give ourselves the yes our Soul is calling for.

The beauty of the mind is that one of her roles is to be our master protector, and she’s great at protecting us from feeling scared!

When you look at it in this way, she’s actually being quite sweet.  From a place of pure innocence, she gave herself the role of keeping us stuck in place because she really just wants us to feel better.  So she does her very best to talk us out of making big changes, because the fall out of change can be scary.

So maybe its time to offer a gesture of gratitude to that little chatterbox today.  Thank you for protecting me from feeling sacred.  I hear you, I love you, I appreciate you for all that you do to keep me safe.

You may have heard that the best way to conquer fear is to move through it.  To ignore what the mind is saying and just push through with the yes anyways.

Maybe in some cases this is what is needed.  But I have another suggestion, one that feels more like love.

What if you could first identify what is needed for the part of you that is scared to feel safe, BEFORE moving ahead with your yes?

The same way you would learn how to swim, before jumping into the deep end of the swimming pool.

What if staying stuck wasn’t the only safe option?

In the midst of being frozen in stuckness, this is often the option we default to.  However, what if it’s just a matter of figuring out what you need to learn first, before you jump into the deep end of this thing that seems so scary?

The Soul is always giving us inner urges that call us forward to know and experience more of our true selves.  This is always going to involve something needing to change.

Sometimes it just takes a bit of planning to get there.

So this week, if you find yourself in a situation where that beautiful mind of yours is talking you out of your yes, take a moment to ask her . . . 

What do you need to feel safe?

With Love,
Kristen
​XO

The greatest thing we can unlearn is the impulse to approach our healing from a place of shame, guilt, fear or judgement.

For example, we may aim to follow a path of self improvement because we believe that who we are right now isn’t good enough, or we feel there is something inherently wrong or bad about what we are experiencing.

However, shame, fear and guilt, and judgement will only block your inner wisdom and hide your spark.

When you can shine the light of love on yourself instead, this is when true healing occurs.

I invite you to approach this journey as a path of self discovery rather than a path of self improvement. It is a subtle shift in perspective. One that is worth considering.

A path of self discovery allows us to be open to learning something new. And I believe that is what healing is, simply learning (or unlearning) something for the purpose of continuing to grow into the next phase of our Soul’s natural development.

We would never look at a caterpillar cozy in her cocoon, tucked away from the world as she undergoes her transformation, as not being good enough because she is still in the process of growing her wings. It is accepted as just a natural process, and that is the same for us too!

I’m going to share with you how to approach this journey with a bit more compassion and playfulness.

So please, be easy on yourself! And if you are noticing any judgement, shame, guilt or fear arising within yourself, know this is totally ok! Try not to judge the judgement ;)

The thread that I weave through all the work I do, as well as in my own personal life and healing journey, is the practice of mindful compassionate curiosity.

What is Mindful Compassionate Curiosity?

Mindfulness

“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.  . . . in the service of self understanding and wisdom.” - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Self Compassion

Is the practice of recognizing you are suffering and the heartfelt wish to turn towards yourself with loving presence to relieve that suffering.

Curiosity 

The desire to learn.

Simply put, the invitation here is to get curious about what is really going on, for the purpose of gaining wisdom from learning what is needed to relieve your suffering, and to do so with love.

Heart centred tip:

Notice any impulses to judge yourself for your suffering.

Sometimes we think that our suffering doesn’t matter because there is always someone whose suffering is worse than ours.  However, if we are to truly find our way back to ourselves, I believe that we should leave no stone unturned.

Anything that is disturbing your peace of mind is blocking your path back to your spark.  All suffering, both big and small, is worth shining light on so that we can have the opportunity to heal all of it.  We all deserve this and you deserve this too.

Your invitation this week is this, when you find yourself in moments of suffering, do you get down on yourself, or do you turn towards yourself with compassion?

How do you approach your healing?

With Love,
Kristen
XO

Please share with anyone who may need to hear these words right now.  May we all support one another to uplift the heart of our world to greater experiences of love, health & harmony.